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Stolen Clown Costumes Surface at Royal Wedding
Apr, 29 2011

LONDON – Guests attending the Royal Wedding at Westminster Abbey may have thought a Circus Volkswagon just unloaded as many of the dignitaries entered the cathedral looking like Barnum & Bailey featured performers.

Last month it was reported locally that the Cambridge Big Top had several clown outfits hi-jacked. Friday, at the Royal Wedding Prince Philip wore an ensemble that appeared suspiciously close to that worn by Lord Chuckles prior to the theft in Cambridge.

Coincidentally Queen Elizabeth was dressed in an all yellow outfit that was also similar to another item lifted during the same incident worn by the sideshow attraction Chiquita Canary, the Bird Lady of Paraguay.

Camilla sponsored by DirecTV

Circus Ringmaster Devon Newcastle all but declared those were the stolen items upon seeing the simulcast of the event at the Cock & Bull Pub in Cambridge, but decided it best for Britain to bite his tongue.

Hats were all the rage for many of the ladies in attendance. Camilla Parker Bowles had the largest, which actually was able to receive HBO and a scrambled Russian porn channel. Unfortunately it momentarily disrupted the service when a few lines from Entourage’s Turtle were heard during the vows.

When it comes to the Royals, formal wear does not consist of black tie & tails.  They maintain a wardrobe department, that rivals any studio in Hollywood.

Royal Cousins Beatrice and Eugenie

Most of the men of the Royal family wore red coats just like in the Revolutionary War. Prince William appeared to be dressed like Dustin Hoffman in Hook minus the hat and the hook. Prince Harry looked like one of the lads from Sgt. Pepper.

It really is quite nostalgic. Many wish the same traditions were maintained in American. For super formal events, Obama could stroll out dressed like Ben Franklin with the white knee socks and ruffled shirt looking like he belongs on money.

Or maybe we should grab iconic dress from a period in our country’s evolution. The days of Disco for instance. Barack dressed like Tony Manero, from Saturday Night Fever to greet the Pope. “Nice to meet you Pontiff.. ooh, watch the hair.”

None of that would look as wacky as what the Royal family is able to put on display when they’re in the spotlight. Perhaps this is a benefit. When men are told by their ladies the clothes they choose look ridiculous, they can simply pull out a photo of Prince Charles in his regalia and suddenly things are back in perspective.

Now that the wedding is over, there is a circus in Cambridge that would love to get it’s costumes back.