Casey Anthony Plans to Adopt
Jul, 17 2011

Casey Anthony and Attorney Jose Baez leave Orange County Jail

ORLANDO – At 12:14 a.m. the doors swung open at the Orange County Jail. Two armed guards carrying automatic weapons escorted acquitted murderer Casey Anthony to a waiting SUV. Crowds had been gathering outside the jail throughout the day. The Florida crowds anticipation of this moment was only exceeded 20 years earlier when rumors spread Princess Diana had been seen at Gator World wearing a Molly Hatchet tank top and $2 flip flops.

The crowd which had been relaxing in various types of portable lawn furniture along side styrofoam coolers packed with refreshments, was now giddy that the event they had combed their mullets for, was finally here. It felt much like a red carpet event in Hollywood, if Hollywood were one big bait shop. Everyone was now on their feet and the homemade signs were waving like terrible towels at a Steelers game.

Most signs had hateful phrases toward Anthony scrawled in Sharpie. The few signs that supported Casey where held by those who had confused this with an American Idol event thinking they would be seeing Casey Abrams, not Casey Anthony.

As soon as Anthony appeared the heckling began. ” Killer” “You Suck”, “Die Bitch” and “Scotty Rules” were shouted over and over.  Casey’s father George, was among those seen giving her the finger as she scurried toward the SUV.

The vehicle carrying Anthony and her attorney Jose Baez, disappeared quickly into the night. Reporters stationed outside the law offices of Baez greeted the vehicle about 30 minutes later. Baez told them Anthony had “no comment” however some exciting things were on the horizon.

About an hour later those still outside those offices saw a smiling Anthony and Baez emerge. Anthony was waving a document that she had received from Baez. The document was a petition for adoption which had been approved earlier in the day. “I’m going to be a Mom!” Anthony gushed.

During her trial many had called for Anthony to be sterilized, but neither that nor multiple layers of condoms will prevent her from diaper duty in just a few short months. Inquiries were made with Korea, Albania and several nations in Africa to locate a baby for this former mom. Baez announced that Casey was found Not Guilty of murdering her daughter Caylee.” That means she has the same right as let’s say Angelina Jolie to be a mother and like Jolie, she too will head to Nigeria in September to pick one out. Casey hopes to be the Angelina Jolie of Florida by accumulating many dark babies.” said Baez.

Anthony left reporters with a final comment. “This all goes to show, our system does work.”

I think O.J. would agree Casey.