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The Lorax and Monsanto agree to Partnership
Mar, 23 2012

The Lorax to Speak for Monsanto

CREVE COEUR, MO The Lorax has infiltrated the lives of most Americans by way of movie trailers and over 70 promotional partnerships with everything from the Mazda CX-5 to disposable diapers. Now add Monsanto to the list. Friday afternoon the chemical giant announced the affiliation with the Universal Films animated star and further stated the Dr. Seuss icon would soon become its spokesperson in an upcoming image campaign.

Monsanto has been victim of negative image problems for many years. Environmentalists have long claimed Monsanto is poisoning our planet. Corporate response has labeled them “troublemaking hippies who screwed over Chinese restaurateurs with their protests about monosodium glutamate decades ago”.

The Lorax, who proclaims “I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.” will now speak for Monsanto. Environmentalists love the Lorax, so Monsanto hopes in addition to hugging trees, these eco-warriors will give their frankencorn an embrace as well. No word if the Lorax will also stump for Dow’s agent-orange corn.

Monsanto is the creator of Roundup, the chemical that started by keeping sidewalk cracks tidy and has evolved into a standard treatment of much of the food grown today. That is because Monsanto scientists created and patented GMO (genetically modified organism) crops that can withstand being sprayed with Roundup. But the weeds and bugs that the chemicals are meant to deter develop a resistance and mutate like Lou Ferrigno in Trump’s boardroom.

No scientific data exists that proves Monsanto GMOs are safe. Yet the FDA has approved them for you to eat.  Since these items have been in our food supply for under 20 years (less than a generation) the long-term effects are uncertain. But here’s a hint; animals fed Monsanto GE (genetically engineered) soybeans have developed infertility, cancer and hair growth on the roofs of their mouths. Once that happens to us the chewing gum industry is bound to take a hit.

The chemical behemoth has been successful in squashing the negative research results from going public in the United States. Perhaps the Presidential appointed former Monsanto executives leading the FDA help in that regard. With the buy-out of  the Lorax, Monsanto hopes people will no longer question the safety of the GE crops that account for an overwhelming percentage of what is on our dinner plates. “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell” is back in our lexicon.

For those unfamiliar with the Lorax, it’s that creature who looks like Wilfred Brimley fed a diet of GE carrots instead of Quaker Oats. In the story, the Lorax objects to the cutting down of trees. He is an advocate for nature, something Monsanto, until now has been unable to secure. Their previous campaign with Magilla Gorilla tanked following the banana incident.

The partnership with Monsanto does put the reputation of the Lorax at risk. A representative of the estate of Dr. Seuss suggests that there is a correlation with the moral of the story. “In the end the Truffula trees are wiped out by the Once-ler to make way for Thneeds, a garment “everyone needs”. Some may see Monsanto as the Once-ler. Destroying what nature has provided to make way for their GMOs which they claim”everyone needs” for the world it feeds. We see it as a new wing to the Dr. Seuss Memorial Library”.

The Lorax was bought, but his message is the same. Remember “Unless”?

Monsanto pours billions into lobbying and swaying politicians and government agencies into telling us what is good for us. And if we’ve been sold lies?  We die out. Human infertility through the consumption of GMO foods within several generations, (a real possibility) would mean the inability to procreate or at best creating little agitated Lou Ferrigno kids. Not a pretty future for us. Unless.

Unless, we are smart enough to see through the smogulous smoke.

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