Secret Service tallied worlds top hookers
Apr, 17 2012

Secret Service Agent with the President

WASHINGTON –  The scandal involving Secret Service agents and prostitutes is a much longer tale. The public learned of the agents recent extracurricular activity on the President’s visit to Columbia. Now it would appear, this was just the time they were caught with their pants down. Those government issue trousers have been on the floor before.

Online score cards were discovered in the email account of one of the accused agents during the ongoing investigation. The special agents, who are entrusted with the responsibility of protecting the President, rated the hookers based upon geographic location. 27 countries were listed. The United States did not appear.

Columbia was also not listed, but voting was still open. Speculation is that Columbia had a great chance of jumping to the top spot in the poll. In a prepared statement, the FBI told reporters several staffers recalled seeing discrete thumbs up gestures made among the agents the morning following the incident in Cartagena.

The investigation uncovered the agents were avid fans of Sofia Vergara (a native of Columbia) of the ABC program Modern Family and often hustled the President out of events on Wednesday evenings in an effort to get home by 9 o’clock.

The secret service detail has been trying to get the President to invite Vergara to the White House but it was reported back that the First Lady simply will not allow it. So, this trip to Columbia was much anticipated and expected to become the new numbero uno on the agents list.

Once the President was safely back at his hotel, one agent recalled “he told us to go out and have a good time and support the local economy”. We all know what that means. Wink. Wink.

In November of 2010, the President toured Asia. Some in his entourage must have found the trip particularly enjoyable. All four of the countries visited made the agents top ten. The President returned from that trip saying he was “not a fan of Dim Sum” and wished him a speedy recovery.

This incident in Columbia has embarrassed the White House at a time when their policies regarding women are in question following the recent comments from Hilary Rosen. The President said on Thursday, “There’s no tougher job than being a mom”. That’s especially true when they are a mom and a working girl as is the case for several of the dates of the agents now under investigation. Oh Mamacita.

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