Political

  • Looting at Men’s Warehouse after Zimmerman Verdict


      SANFORD FL – The “not guilty” verdict for George Zimmerman without warning became a guilty verdict with immediate retribution for George Zimmer, founder of the Men’s Warehouse.  Protesters across the nation amped up their screams for justice upon the acquittal in the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. Many may have been too casual in their real knowledge of the case and it’s participants, blaming George Zimmer of the Men’s Warehouse for the death of Martin. The suit retailer’s location in Oviedo Fl. was […]

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  • Secret Service tallied worlds top hookers


    WASHINGTON –  The scandal involving Secret Service agents and prostitutes is a much longer tale. The public learned of the agents recent extracurricular activity on the President’s visit to Columbia. Now it would appear, this was just the time they were caught with their pants down. Those government issue trousers have been on the floor before. Online score cards were discovered in the email account of one of the accused agents during the ongoing investigation. The special agents, who are entrusted […]

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  • Greek Economy Bailed Out by Booming Greek Yogurt Sales


    NEW YORK – Five years ago the only people who knew about Greek yogurt usually had a great recipe for tzatziki sauce and wore a babushka. These days it is seen being eaten on public transportation by iPod wearing health conscious hipsters as they hum Adele tunes in between the slurping of each delicious spoonful of their single serve passion-fruit infused yogurt. Greek yogurt. America has been buying the Greek stuff, yet Greece remained teetering on financial ruin. That all changed on Monday when it […]

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  • Collection Agency Hounds The United States


    WASHINGTON – “It’s gotten to the point I’m afraid to answer the phone” says U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner referring to the constant harassment he is receiving from bill collectors.  “I tried explaining to them, we just don’t have the money right now. We are struggling just to get by”. But the bill collectors don’t want to hear it. “It was much easier dealing directly with China” said Geithner, “I would just put them off, which was pretty easy. For a […]

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  • Oprah Fuming at President Obama


    CHICAGO – Oprah is said to be furious at the Obamas for not keeping her in the loop regarding the U.S. raid that took the life of Osama bin Laden. Oprah’s top producers confide she has been an absolute monster these past few days. The Obamas appeared on Oprah’s show on Monday, the day following the raid. Topics of discussion were about the birth certificate, re-election and questions about trips they frequently take. Monday’s show was taped Friday, April 29th […]

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  • Obama Directs Assassination of the “Big Muslim” Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Dead


    WASHINGTON DC – President Obama announced the assassination of Muslim terrorist and public enemy number 1 of the United States Osama Bin Laden was accomplished on Sunday. Bin Laden was not the only casualty on this day. President Obama has stated for some time he wanted the Big Muslim taken down. Although not on the same page, it was under that directive CIA operatives killed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. The former NBA star, Abdul-Jabbar was spotted by a drone aircraft while signing 8 x10’s and […]

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  • Obama Leads Other Candidates in FaceBook Likes


    PALO ALTO CA – President Obama is having a pow-wow with Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg today at the corporate headquarters of the social media behemoth. The President, vowed to raise a billion dollars in donations for the 2012 campaign, and returning to rallying centers such as Facebook should once again prove to be lucrative. Obama ran the most tech-savvy campaign ever back in 2008 raising more donations than any other candidate in history. As of today Obama is […]

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  • Trump Uncovers Obama Birth Certificate


    NEW YORK – Sometimes all it takes is money to get the truth. Donald Trump had stirred up the controversial topic that President Obama could not produce a valid birth certificate to prove he was born in the United States. Late Monday Trump announced he had the document and his so called witch hunt, caught a witch. “Obama spent $2 million to hide the truth. I spent $6 million to uncover it” declared The Donald. Last week while appearing on NBC’s Today […]

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  • 2012 Obama Slogan Not For Dummies


    WASHINGTON DC – Barack Obama began his bid for re-election in 2012 today by announcing his new campaign slogan. It Begins With Us. Not as catchy as Yes We Can, the new slogan may prove hard to chant at rallys. A consensus among Americas Ventriloquists is the “B” words are most difficult to deliver. Ventriloquists as we know are the voice of dummies. Essential to the initial Obama campaign in 2008, the dummies may have smartened up over the past two years. “Dummies may […]

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