Global

  • Kim Jong Un’s Uncle not doing so good


    PYONGYANG, North Korea –  Jang Song Thaek, the former mentor of the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un was arrested Thursday in the midst of the Political Bureau Meeting coming as a shock to those in attendance.  Circumstances for Jong Un’s uncle have deteriorated quickly. North Korea said Friday that it has executed him for various misdeeds of illegal drug use and illicit womanizing.  It was less than 24 hours from arrest to execution the State run news reported claiming justice […]

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  • The Lorax and Monsanto agree to Partnership


    CREVE COEUR, MO – The Lorax has infiltrated the lives of most Americans by way of movie trailers and over 70 promotional partnerships with everything from the Mazda CX-5 to disposable diapers. Now add Monsanto to the list. Friday afternoon the chemical giant announced the affiliation with the Universal Films animated star and further stated the Dr. Seuss icon would soon become its spokesperson in an upcoming image campaign. Monsanto has been victim of negative image problems for many years. Environmentalists have long claimed Monsanto […]

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  • Girl whose laptop was shot posts video of Dad doing cleaning lady


      ALBEMARLE, NC – Hannah Jordan volleys back to dad. Three days ago her father, Tommy Jordan reacted to his daughter’s Facebook rant by eliminating her laptop execution style. He then posted the video on her Facebook wall. Yesterday Hannah retaliated by posting a two minute video of her Dad cleaning the cleaning lady. “If he wants to embarrass me, he will regret it” said Hannah in the prelude of her video post. The clip shows her father wearing only a cowboy […]

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  • Casey Anthony Plans to Adopt


    ORLANDO – At 12:14 a.m. the doors swung open at the Orange County Jail. Two armed guards carrying automatic weapons escorted acquitted murderer Casey Anthony to a waiting SUV. Crowds had been gathering outside the jail throughout the day. The Florida crowds anticipation of this moment was only exceeded 20 years earlier when rumors spread Princess Diana had been seen at Gator World wearing a Molly Hatchet tank top and $2 flip flops. The crowd which had been relaxing in various types of […]

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  • The French Humiliated by LeBron


    PARIS – Residents of France are in shock. The entire country in a state of mourning as the results of the NBA finals trickled in early Monday morning. Their favored son, LeBron James, proved the French are indeed incapable of winning any high profile battle. As in the past, this battle was won by the Germans. Dirk Nowitzki’s heroics finally allowed the German people to put Hitler behind them.  Now they can move forward with a mustache-less icon to represent […]

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  • Stolen Clown Costumes Surface at Royal Wedding


    LONDON – Guests attending the Royal Wedding at Westminster Abbey may have thought a Circus Volkswagon just unloaded as many of the dignitaries entered the cathedral looking like Barnum & Bailey featured performers. Last month it was reported locally that the Cambridge Big Top had several clown outfits hi-jacked. Friday, at the Royal Wedding Prince Philip wore an ensemble that appeared suspiciously close to that worn by Lord Chuckles prior to the theft in Cambridge. Coincidentally Queen Elizabeth was dressed in an […]

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  • World’s Oldest Man Dies – Family Stunned


    GREAT FALLS, Montana – The world’s oldest living man Walter Breuning 114, died Thursday.  His family is devastated. “We just saw him yesterday.” said daughter Irene Deiter, 91 of Missoula. “All of us are in shock.  It just goes to show you, life is short”. Son Walter Breuning Jr., 93 or “Little Wally” as he’s known to family and friends was extremely shook up upon receiving the news of his fathers death. “An event like this really makes you examine your own mortality. […]

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  • Kentucky Man Invents Car that Runs on Bourbon


    LOUISVILLE  – 62 year old Mickey Nilsson of Bardstown Kentucky, finally found a way to make his tinkering hobby pay off.  Inspired by the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Nilsson transformed a collection of “junk” into a motor vehicle that does not rely on foreign oil as it’s fuel source. His car is entirely powered by Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey. “I was always a fan of Caractacus Potts (the Dick Van Dyke character) from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” said Nilsson. “He was […]

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  • Trump Uncovers Obama Birth Certificate


    NEW YORK – Sometimes all it takes is money to get the truth. Donald Trump had stirred up the controversial topic that President Obama could not produce a valid birth certificate to prove he was born in the United States. Late Monday Trump announced he had the document and his so called witch hunt, caught a witch. “Obama spent $2 million to hide the truth. I spent $6 million to uncover it” declared The Donald. Last week while appearing on NBC’s Today […]

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  • Prince William Reveals Bruce Vilanch Best Man


    LONDON – Many details of the Royal Wedding have been kept secretive. Until Sunday, even the names of the Best Man and Maid of Honor were merely speculation. The Royal groom spilled the beans outside a North London Gingiss Formal Wear location where he was being fitted for his attire for the big day. The smart money had long since been on his younger brother Prince Harry as the clear choice to stand along side William for his nuptials. The smart money lost. […]

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